Many of us will remember snuggling up to our grandparents and listening to tales of Ram and Sita, Lakshman and Bharat, Ravan and Hanuman from the great Indian epic, Ramayana. One story that has stuck in my mind is how vulnerable Queen Kaikeyi was to lies and distorted information whispered into her ears by her wicked hunchbacked maid, Manthara; how a seed of suspicion planted in the queen’s mind led to Ram’s exile from Ayodhya and wreaked havoc in the royal family.
In our day-to-day lives, we too are susceptible to lies and disinformation spread by unscrupulous persons. A modern-day Manthara may twist facts so shrewdly that, like Kaikeyi, we may get blinded into doing something unimaginable. Some of us may have watched a colleague poisoning the boss against a rival or a pesky relative stoking trouble between a couple. To shield ourselves from mischief-mongers, let us go back to Kaikeyi’s story from the Ramayana and learn how to avoid the mistakes she made.
Manthara lays a trap
As Chaitanya Charan explains in his book, Wisdom from the Ramayana, a key fact to note is that Kaikeyi was a good woman. She was the youngest and the most beautiful of Dashrath’s three queens; she knew that as the king’s eldest son, Ram was his rightful heir and had no issues with it. Yet when the king announced his decision, she fell prey to her maid’s wicked insinuations.
The first insinuation was that once Ram was anointed heir-apparent, his mother Kaushalya would reduce Kaikeyi to a maid. The second was that Ram would plot the arrest, or even murder, of Kaikeyi’s son Bharat as he would feel threatened by his younger brother. After all, didn’t something seem fishy in Dashrath making such an important announcement when Bharat was out of town?
Kaikeyi succumbs
Blinded by her maternal instincts and plagued by her insecurities, Kaikeyi swallowed Manthara’s bait. Manthara had laid the trap fearing she would lose her position as the favourite maid of the king’s favourite queen. But the naïve Kaikeyi was unable to see through her manipulation and unquestioningly believed her.
Manthara then pulled a masterstroke — she told Kaikeyi that to protect herself and her son, she should make use of the two boons Dashrath had granted her earlier. First, she should ask the king to send Rama into exile in the forest for 14 years; and second, she should ask him to designate Bharat as the royal heir. Kaikeyi did as she was instructed. Bound by his promise, the honourable Dashrath sent Ram into exile and died of heartbreak soon after.
Puppet on a string
Although it might seem what Kaikeyi did was unforgivable, the fact is she was expertly manipulated by a master puppeteer. Her mistakes were: one, she believed what she was told uncritically and mindlessly; and two, she did not speak to anyone about her misgivings and insecurities. She realised her mistake only when Bharat condemned what she had done and rushed to the forest to cajole Ram to return to Ayodhya.
How to block manipulators
We can checkmate psychological manipulators who thrive on twisting facts by following three steps:
(i) We must put our critical faculties on full alert the minute we sense a mischief-maker is trying to instigate us against someone. If our attention wavers even a little, the manipulator will gain a foothold in our minds;
(ii) We must discuss the matter with friends or family members we trust, so we hear what they have to say. Other viewpoints on the malicious games people play will help us sift the truth from lies and disinformation;
(iii) Last, but most important, we must try to clarify directly with the person against whom we are being poisoned. But we must do so gently and without being judgmental or accusatory. This is because the targeted person may not have a clue that false stories are being spread about him. Had Kaikeyi spoken to Dashrath, she may have understood that he was hurrying Ram’s anointment because of his advancing years.
Shakespeare’s Othello
The manipulation game in Othello, one of William Shakespeare’s four great tragedies, is similar to that in Kaikeyi’s story from the Ramayana. The contexts are very different, though. In the play, Iago plants a seed of suspicion in Othello’s mind about the fidelity of his wife, Desdemona. So masterful is Iago’s psychological manipulation and his exploitation of sexual jealousy that Othello is driven to strangling his wife.
The play was adapted into the Hindi film, Omkara, by Vishal Bhardwaj a few years ago. If you haven’t seen Saif Ali Khan turn in a brilliant performance as Langda Tyagi (Iago), go watch the movie.