What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Khushwant Singh? His razor-sharp wit and risqué humour? His so-called affairs with beautiful women? His debut novel, Train to Pakistan? His column, With Malice Towards One and All? Or the newsmagazine he edited, The Illustrated Weekly of India?
It could be one or many of these. But you would certainly not think of the writer-cum-editor as a wellness guru, whose 10 pointers on how to be happy made quite a splash when Absolute Khushwant: The Low-Down on Life, Death & Most Things In-Between was published in 2010. He was 95 then, and passed on four years later.
Death & happiness
As the title suggests, Absolute Khushwant dwells on death, its finality and inevitability, fear of its imminence, the relentless march of time, grief at the loss of loved ones and more. Wedged among the reflections on mortality is a small but significant section on what makes people happy and how to achieve happiness, with which one connects effortlessly.
Much has been written about being happy in self-help books, but one never stops looking for another quick-fix formula. For, what could be more important to us than to be happy and at peace? What’s special about Khushwant Singh’s pointers is that they have the ring of felt truth to them as well as a certain practicality and practicability. They appear below mostly in the author’s words, but marginally edited and abridged for the sake of formatting and relevance.
The four basics
(i) Good health: If you do not enjoy good health, you can never be happy. Any ailment, however trivial, will deduct something from your happiness.
(ii) Healthy bank balance: It need not run into crores, but it should be enough to provide for comforts, and there should be something to spare for recreation – eating out, going to the movies, travel and holidays in the hills and by the sea. Shortage of money can be demoralising. Living on credit or borrowing is demeaning and lowers one in one’s own eyes.
(iii) Your own home: Rented places can never give you the comfort or security of a home that is yours for keeps. If it has garden space, all the better. Plant your own trees and flowers, see them grow and blossom, and cultivate a sense of kinship with them.
(iv) A companion: An understanding companion, be it your spouse or a friend. If you have too many misunderstandings, it robs you of peace of mind. It is better to be divorced than to be quarrelling all the time.
The following five
(v) Do not envy: Stop envying those who have done better than you in life – risen higher, made more money, or earned more fame. Envy can be corroding, avoid comparing yourself with others.
(vi) Don’t gossip: Do not allow people to descend on you for gossip. By the time you get rid of them, you will feel exhausted and poisoned by their gossip-mongering.
(vii) Have a hobby: Cultivate a hobby or two that will fulfil you – gardening, reading, writing, painting, playing or listening to music. Going to clubs or parties to get free drinks, or to meet celebrities, is a criminal waste of time. It’s important to concentrate on something that keeps you occupied meaningfully.
(viii) Introspect: Every morning and evening, devote 15 minutes to introspection. In the mornings, 10 minutes should be spent in keeping the mind absolutely still, and five listing the things you have to do that day. In the evenings, five minutes should be set aside to keep the mind still and 10 to go over the tasks you had intended to do.
(ix) Check your anger: Don’t lose your temper. Try not to be short-tempered or vengeful. Even when a friend has been rude, just move on.
And finally…
(x) Pass on peacefully: When the time comes to go, one should go like a man without any regret or grievance against anyone. Iqbal said it beautifully in a couplet in Persian: “You ask me about the signs of a man of faith? When death comes to him, he has a smile on his lips.”