THE NEXT TIME someone tells you to do the dishes, don’t grumble or snap or utter cusswords. Stay calm and sport a smile as you march towards the sink. For, you are in billion-dollar company – both Microsoft founder Bill Gates and Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos wash dishes after dinner!
Six years ago, Gates was asked in a Q&A session on a social news site to name one thing he enjoyed doing that none would expect him to. According to media reports, he replied: “I do the dishes every night – other people volunteer, but I like the way I do it.”
Likewise, in an interview to a business paper in 2014, Bezos was quoted as saying: “I do the dishes every night. I’m pretty convinced it’s the sexiest thing I do!”
Celeb dish-washer
Neither Gates nor Bezos spoke of the therapeutic benefits of the chore or the reason why they did it. But their revelations were enough to make middle-class jaws drop. Mine did, too. However, they didn’t leave as much of a mark as Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh’s unusual story on the joys of dish-washing.
In his book, At Home in the World, Thay – as disciples address him – goes back to his days as a novice in Vietnam’s Tu Hieu monastery to recount his earliest experience of washing dishes. In those days in the 1940s, it was hard. There was no soap or warm water. The novices, only two of them, had to make do with ash, coconut husk and rice husk. In winter, when it was freezing, water had to be heated in a big pot.
During a three-month retreat held every year, it was worse. Over a hundred monks would converge on the monastery at that time. Post dinner, the pile of dirty dishes would be tall but the washing was left to Thay and his fellow-novice.
It ain’t that bad
Comparatively, doing the dishes is a breeze now. There’s running warm water 24×7. Liquid soap, scrub pads and washing gloves are easily available. The chore seems unpleasant only when one is not doing it, according to Thay. When he rolls up his sleeves and stands in front of a sink full of warm water, he doesn’t dislike it.
“I enjoy taking my time with each dish, being fully aware of the dish, the water, and each movement of my hands. I know that if I hurry in order to be able to finish so I can sit down sooner and eat dessert or enjoy a cup of tea, the time of washing dishes will be unpleasant… That would be a pity, for each minute, each second of life is a miracle,” he says in the book.
Take your time
Thay’s logic is that if one cannot be mindful or focus fully while doing the dishes, the point is lost. If a person’s mind is set on finishing fast so s/he can eat dessert, s/he will not be able to enjoy the sweet dish. This is because s/he will be thinking of the next thing to do when the dessert spoon is in hand. Neither will s/he be able to enjoy the flavour of the dessert nor its texture. The mind will keep rushing to the next thing in queue, refusing to stay in the present moment.
A means and an end
“I must confess it takes me a bit longer to do the dishes, but I live fully in every moment, and I am happy. Washing the dishes is at the same time a means and an end. We do the dishes not only in order to have clean dishes, we also do the dishes just to do the dishes, to live fully in each moment while washing them, and to be truly in touch with life,” says Thay.
Melinda’s take
According to studies by Florida State University and the University of California, Santa Barbara, there are more benefits to dish-washing than clean plates and glasses. Media reports have cited some of these benefits: a) Relieves stress; b) Boosts creativity; c) Gives the mind a chance to wander and generate fresh ideas; d) Enables creative problem-solving.
Some years ago, an interviewer asked Melinda Gates what she thought of her husband (Bill Gates) doing the dishes. Many reports quoted her as saying that sharing unpaid household jobs was key to ending gender inequality, balancing relationships and making them stronger.