REMEMBER JACK TORRANCE, the new caretaker of an isolated hotel in the Rockies, going mad in Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 thriller, The Shining? A recovering alcoholic prone to violence, Torrance had taken up the gig for the winter so he could focus on his writing. But that was not to be; one day, his terrified wife discovers that the sheets stacked on his table are filled with a single sentence typed over and over: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
What Torrance’s point was is anyone’s guess but the saying, repeated ad nauseam during our schooldays, stresses the role of balance in making a happy and fulfilled life. In childhood, keeping the balance is largely restricted to studying and playing; as we grow older, it extends to our work, relationships, social interactions and more. Let us take a look at what Gaur Gopal Das, one of the widely followed monks of our times, has to say about finding balance and purpose in our lives.
The car analogy
In his book Life’s Amazing Secrets, Das – he is an Indian engineer turned lifestyle coach who has been sharing his wisdom since 2005 — suggests that frustration, irritability or worry at where we are headed are often indicators that our lives are lacking in balance.
Consider the example of a car. It’s a far less complicated machine than a human being but if it has to run well, its wheels have to be aligned properly. If they are not, the car will pull to the right or the left. Similar with tyre pressure. If the air pressure of the front right tyre is less than desired, the car will careen to the right. So, all elements have to be balanced optimally to ensure a smooth drive.
Likewise with humans, says Das. “The secret of life is finding balance: not too much, not too little. Just as a car balances on four wheels, we must balance the four crucial areas of our life: our personal life, our relationships, our work life and our social contribution,” he writes.
Wheels and tyres
There are two levels of balance: external and deep. Balancing on an external level is equivalent to wheel alignment, says Das. “It is about adjusting our priorities based on the need of the moment, and focusing on that particular wheel which is out of alignment,” he writes.
For instance, at a particular stage in our youth, our personal lives take precedence over everything else. So, a couple planning their marriage are unlikely to spend extra hours at work. Again, when a man is at the peak of his career, all he will care for is his project deadline. No amount of whining by his spouse to devote time to the family will work. “We must be willing to adjust our priorities to bring… wheels into alignment,” writes Das.
The deeper level of balance deals with our attitudes and values. “That attitude is like the air in the tyres of the car. If the tyres of the car are not at the correct pressure, there can be a puncture, stopping us from getting to our destination. This is why we must navigate the internal aspects of balance.”
Steering wheel
Once the wheels are aligned and the tyres optimally inflated, will the car run on its own? No. Someone has to be at the steering wheel, else the car will crash before it reaches the destination. Das equates the steering wheel with spirituality. He defines it as a combination of our spiritual practice, character, service to God and others, and the associations we keep.
“Spirituality… brings purpose to our life and gives us a destination worth going to. At times, we may feel empty or lost or have an existential crisis, when we feel that we do not know where our life is taking us. It is at those times that we must hold the steering wheel of spirituality tightly and press on,” he writes.
Conclusion
As Aldous Huxley put it: “Experience is not what happens to a man, it is what a man does with what happens to him.”